Trigger warning: blood, needles. I am a user of the Medtronics MiniMed 640G insulin pump since November, 2016. I have had countless cannula (infusion set) changes since then, and each time (still) feels like the first time. Changing cannulas is a topic that still doesn’t sit well with me (for the lack of a better term). More times than not, I have to “re-change” my infusion set, and go through 2-3 of them before one works. I suppose it doesn’t help that I happen to be a thoroughly impatient individual. Each re-change takes my mood lower still, and I still struggle to take it “lightly".
For me, the cannula change is often accompanied by high sugar levels, which for me ranges above 180mg/dL. The worst one I have had yet was 300mg/dL. While this does vary for each person, the stress of it all is something I’m sure everyone feels. Recently, I went through 4 infusion sets and the last one I changed had blood pour into the tubing. It shook me.
Even today, anytime my infusion set works on the first try, I practically am elated and consider it a triumph. I suppose being able to cherish these small things makes some part of all the effort we put into it worth it. The anxiety surrounding the maintenance of normal blood sugar levels (whatever range you think is normal, for me that is between 100 to 180mg/dL), can be harrowing. I think this is something that is not spoken enough about.
While I truly admire the courage of diabetic social media influencers, I wish they spoke about the anxiety, the mood swings, and the pain that each prick brings. In some ways, all of social media makes it look a lot easier than it is. The toll diabetes, type 1 or type 2, takes on one’s mental health is as chronic as the illness itself.
Cannula changes are gruesome, and they have been the single-most reason that taught me patience. This whole ordeal is probably where my mantra, “Everything's fine. You're okay. You're doing great!”. This has gotten me through those “bad, bad” days.
I know that this is life-long, and by the time an actual workable cure comes out, it might too late for me. Yet, the days still feel long and the whole “needle every 3 days” ordeal keeps coming, relentless like pouring rain.
Until then, let’s get through these days the best we can, cause you’re doing great!
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